BIKE THIEVES SUCK – MONICA GLASS 10 ARTS PASTRY CHEF
dear bicycle thief,
thank you so much for the surprise i found after leaving work late this evening. it was really sweet of you to think that my tired feet could use a cab ride home. but i miss my rusty orange bike. if and when you decide to return my bike, maybe i’ll make you cookies since i have no money to buy another one. but if you actually have the balls to ride my squeaky bike on the street, be forewarned, i will beat you down with my gigantic whisk.
p.s. you suck and bike thieves be damned.